Saturday, May 31, 2014

Clean Up the Internet for Adrian - A Mother's Message

One of the worst things any parent can imagine is losing a child.  Worse yet is losing a child without knowing why the loss happened.  And still worse is having the pain of that loss magnified by careless reactions. 
I cannot imagine such pain.  I know it only second-hand through witnessing it in my sister and her husband since the loss of my niece in March.  While my children and I have mourned and prayed, the depth of my sister and her husband's hurting is unfathomable.

Despite pain, though, they seek peace.  They seek honor.  They seek love. 

My sister, in fact, posted the message below on her Facebook page with a request that it be shared to make it go viral.  I want to help that happen.  I want to share my sister's personal plea for her child's respectful memory and to encourage all people to be mindful of how their words, actions and reactions can affect others.

As I share my sister's  words here, I ask you to consider them seriously and to re-share them if you wish.  Thank you!

On March 12, 2014 my husband and I lost our beautiful girl, Adrian Marie. So many people have asked and promised they would do anything we needed in the loss of our daughter. She was his by blood and mine by choice and so deeply in my heart. Adults and children took to the internet to express grief, throw blame, spread rumors, make judgement, etc.

Every day and every night I wish I could find answers.

Sometimes I search everywhere online for a clue.  Inevitably, I find more falsehoods, assumptions and hurtful past postings, mostly from confused misled peers, but no less painful for me to see.

I'd like to remind everyone that what you put on the internet, never truly goes away, but if you've posted something inaccurate, hurtful or unkind, you should at least have the decency to go back and delete it, remove it or at least correct it. You may have moved on from that feeling, but there is a mother and a father here walking around daily and sleeping nightly with a hole in their heart that does not and will not ever go away.

What you can do for me? Share this post, not just to for me, but to honor Adrian by making sure this post goes viral and that a message gets out to the world about the need for privacy and respect for the loved one who has passed and the family and friends left behind. Remove your posts and remember, should you ever be faced with such sorrow again to think first before you post, start a page, a memorial, a fund, or use the name of somebody's minor child without the explicit consent of their parent.

The things you choose to do, even if your intentions are good, might just hurt somebody else deeper than you could ever imagine. We will never know the true reason we lost our amazing, beautiful, fun and loving girl. We have to learn to accept and live with that because nothing will change the fact that she is gone.

What can change is how she is remembered and honored by removing all negativity surrounding any search for her name on the internet that serves no purpose and may even disgrace her time here on this earth. Imagine how great it would be for all of us to search her name and only see beautiful memories, pictures and thoughts. Come together everyone. Make it happen.
Honor the girl I loved so much and clean up the web trail so the world will know only the joy she brought to her family, what a great friend and person she was and how blessed we all were to have her. Learn from her passing and be mindful of your future postings that you are not hurting others.

Clean up the internet for Adrian!

I pray today that all of us will speak and write what is good, what is right, what is just, what is true and what is loving and that when we fail to do so, we will recognize it and, if possible, make amends.  

Thank you.

This post is shared today in lieu of my usual Sunday Training Happy Hearts in Young Children post.  Please pray for all family and friends of children lost too soon and for the children themselves.


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