Quiet, attentive reverence.
Due to sensory challenges and poor executive functioning
skills, one of my three children rarely succeeds at demonstrating such “acceptable” behavior
at Mass. So, the idea of attending our parish’s
traditional Stations of the Cross prayer times makes me cringe.
I know that stating my dread
of going to Stations seems irreverent. For
isn’t Lent partially about bearing one’s crosses and trusting in the Lord? Thus, shouldn’t I be willing to just
shoulder forth with my kiddoes to our parish’s Stations of the Cross prayer
time despite my fears?
Perhaps.
Or, perhaps not.
As a parent, I know
that it is my duty – and privilege – to help my children in their spiritual
formation. As such, I take seriously the call to be a “first herald” for my children, initiating them into the mysteries of the faith. (CCC
2225) And, with my children’s needs
in mind, I think that being a literal first herald of the Way of the Cross is
most fitting.
Stations of the Cross, Week One: A Gentle, Snuggly Introduction
I am confident that
my children will come to appreciate the rich experience of praying the Stations
of the Cross with our greater church community if they first come to know and
understand the Stations within our own domestic church. So, last Friday, we “did” the stations at
home, in bed, no less.
All three children and I snuggled into sensory-calming*
delight in one, single bed while reading The
Story of the Cross and praying the prayers included in it.
At another point in the day, we also visited the church for just
a moment to wave hello to Jesus.
Simple.
Sensory-friendly. No distractions
or challenges to divert the children’s attention from the story of the cross.
Stations of the Cross, Week Two: Running and Reverence
Nina's sketch of Our Lady. |
This week, I felt the children were already ready for a next
step in experiencing the Stations of the Cross.
So, I asked them if they’d like to pray the Stations at our local
church, all by ourselves, with our “special stations book” and some sketchbooks
to help us.
Even my youngest cried out with delight at this idea. So, off we went to the church – in the middle
of the day, when I figured no one else would be there.
Thankfully, I was wrong about us being alone at the church, though. For when we entered the building, it was dark. No lights were on and, even though I felt there was plenty of light coming through the stained glass windows, the children were a bit concerned about the darkness.. Luckily, a kind-hearted woman that works at our parish offices was in the church building and offered to go turn on some of the church’s lights.
Jack's sketch, in Lenten purple, with the cross at the top drawn by Nina. |
Thankfully, I was wrong about us being alone at the church, though. For when we entered the building, it was dark. No lights were on and, even though I felt there was plenty of light coming through the stained glass windows, the children were a bit concerned about the darkness.. Luckily, a kind-hearted woman that works at our parish offices was in the church building and offered to go turn on some of the church’s lights.
Whew! She saved the
day!
Luke's "favorite" station. |
They bubbled with childhood excitement when they discovered
that it was behind the church organ, up near the altar where they had never
been before. However, once I began
reading from The Story of the Cross, they quieted, listening to the story and alternating between
examining the artwork of on the church wall and comparing it to the art work in
our book. Then, just as I was reciting
the prayer portion of our first station reading, excitement kicked in
again.
Our sensory seeker burst forth with a near-run to get to the
next station. And, thus began the pattern
for the day: a run-pause-listen-pray-run
one.
Now, I know that some reading this might be shaking their
heads now. Running
in the church? During Stations, no less. I know, it seems rather inappropriate. Unless, of course, you have a child who was
gifted with a neurology that is a bit different than everyone else’s. One who needs physical movement and heavy
work more than most others do. Then, it
becomes par for the course. And,
quite honestly, even a victory in the eyes of that child’s mama, who was less
concerned about the dashes between the stations than she was delighted about
the control it took for that child to actually pause at each station, and, even
more, the desire of that child to do so.
Grace abounds!
So it was that the children and I ended up “walking” the Way
of the Cross at almost a running speed at times. The children attentive and relatively
reverent at each station, but with a journey that was punctuated by quick
bursts of movement between stations. My
sensory seeker, leading the way.
And, then, came the slow
down -- the keying into what my differently
gifted child loves and sometimes synthesizes best through: drawing.
Luke sketching Jesus on the cross. |
Fasting, Giving and Praying at the Station
My son Luke had been unkind to his sister Nina right before
we left for the Stations. As a penance,
he agreed that his sister could pick which station we sketched after praying
the Stations.
It was very difficult for Luke to honor his word once the
time actually came to break out our sketch books. He knew right away which
station he wanted to draw and had to practice patience and control as Nina
walked – slowly – from station to station (after running from station to
station earlier!) to make her decision as to where we would plunk down with our
colored pencils. As Luke’s eyes followed her around the church, I could feel the strain
it took him to maintain a fast from outbursts or a loud cajoling for his sister
to pick the station he wanted to sketch.
Luke's sketch. |
Or perhaps I felt Luke’s pleading prayers to God. For, after Nina passed one particular station, I heard Luke sigh with angry disappointment and saw him hand his head. Then, Nina, true to her compassionate and giving nature, lit up Luke’s world. She began a second round of the stations, paused, smiled, came to the center of the church, announced that she knew what she wanted, and, as Luke inhaled deeply, walked over to her big brother and said “for Luke to pick.”
Luke immediately led us over to the station I thought he
wanted to sketch – Jesus on the cross.
Whereupon Nina, whose sensitivity was disturbed by the image, politely
inquired, “Mommy, I want Luke to make his choice, but can I draw something
else?” Of course, I said she could. So, while Luke sketched Jesus on the cross,
Nina sketched “Mary from the window”, only stopping to help Jack when he asked
someone to draw a cross on his paper.
Finally, we all talked about how we knew the “end of the story” – that Jesus rose again and is still here with us in the form of the Eucharist. Jack found his way to the candle that tells us that Jesus is present in the tabernacle. All the children said a prayer in front of the tabernacle with me. Then, Nina asked to go pray in front of a statue of Our Lady and Baby Jesus while Luke searched for images of St. Luke and St. Micheal, before we went over to the parish offices to tell them we were done.
A more comforting image for Nina. |
Finally, we all talked about how we knew the “end of the story” – that Jesus rose again and is still here with us in the form of the Eucharist. Jack found his way to the candle that tells us that Jesus is present in the tabernacle. All the children said a prayer in front of the tabernacle with me. Then, Nina asked to go pray in front of a statue of Our Lady and Baby Jesus while Luke searched for images of St. Luke and St. Micheal, before we went over to the parish offices to tell them we were done.
"Jesus is here." |
No sensory meltdowns.
Growth in self-control. The story
of the stations shared. Prayers spoken aloud in the quiet of hearts. By His grace, Stations, Week Two was a
success.
Jack praying in front of the tabernacle. |
Now I pray for the guidance and grace to make decisions about how best to share the Stations with the kids next week. Will I tap into some of the 10+ Stations of the Cross resources I collected (and shared!) a few weeks back for another at-home heralding? Will we repeat what we did this week, perhaps at a different church to appeal to Luke’s interest in viewing different artwork? Will we try a group service? I am not sure yet.
How do you pray the Stations of the
Cross wit children, especially children with special needs?
*For those unfamiliar with sensory needs and how to best
meet them, please realize every child is different. What is calming to one may be stimulating for
another. If you think your child has
sensory challenges, consider researching what
Sensory Processing Disorder is and getting
a handle on what you can do. The SPD Foundation and Special-ism are great places to start.
(If you receive this post via email and cannot see the linky, be sure to actually click over to the blog to read browse the rich catalog of ideas there.)
3 comments:
What a beautiful and appropriate family event!
So glad your experience went well, and I love the idea of incorporating drawing into the experience. We will try that next week.
Beautifully done my friend. I love how in tune you are to your children, you are such a blessing to them.
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