Now, before anyone says it, I know 41 is hardly old. My maternal grandmother doubled my age and
then some. But, the fact is, lately I
have been feeling a little less spry.
Evenings, I find myself exhausted. Mornings, I wake up with less vigor than I
once did. And, although gratitude is
something I feel and express to our Lord each and every day, my husband will be
the first to point out that I hardly appear to be the thankful, happy mom of
late. The fact is, when he comes home
from work, I am too often a picture of a weary woman beat by her day. I hardly brim with joy and thankfulness.
This is not good. This
is not what I want, nor what my husband desires, nor what my children deserve,
and, I certainly sense it is not what our Good Lord has planned for me.
Nope.
As I face my 41st birthday, I recognize that I
have not been letting the Spirit lead me in the details of my days as well as I
could be and thus my spirits are flagging – unnecessarily!
So, what am I going to do about it? Well, as the almost-19-year-old me said to, I’m
going to “accept failures, not defeat: drive on!” But, I am not going to drive alone. Instead, I am going to “Remember (my) Lord” and, with through grace, “Hold
on” and “Discipline (my)self” among other things.
Where am I getting all these quotes? Well, when I was reflecting on my age, stage
and demeanor today, I was about to do a typical me thing – to write down a list
of tasks and goals to get me back on track in the year ahead. But, then, I felt moved to do something else
instead: to dig out a very old journal
of mine, which, miraculously, was just where I thought it was. (Not many items in my home are these
days!)
When I opened to the journal’s first page, I smiled. On it was a list written in early October 1989. It was a list of action phrases preceded by
the words: You must do the following to “make
it”.
I no longer recall what the “it” I was referring to then
was, but I can say that the list seems as appropriate to my life now as it was
then. Funny how the circumstances of
life change multiple times through the years, yet the core of each of us can
remain very much the same.
So, this year, as I turn 41, my gift to myself, to my
husband and to my children is going to be to take the gift of reflection the
Spirit led me to today and to listen parts of what the almost-19-year-old me
had to say, putting into daily action many of the things penned in a journal
over two decades ago, starting with “Pray” and “SMILE!”
Choosing to do just these two things alone during times when
I feel old will, no doubt, help me reach the blessed period of life my maternal
grandmother did.
Forty-one. Old? No way!
If we “Just Believe”, “Go day by day”, “Laugh a lot” “and dream BIG!!!”
we can “make it” day-to-day, detail-by-detail to the Ultimate Goal!
Happy happy happy birthday to you! Yours words have been quite a gift to me this past short while-ness. May God continue to bless you with his peace and wisdom this upcoming year.
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